It both amazes and saddens me when clients who’ve been living successfully on their own for decades confide that they still feel vulnerable and powerless around their parents. Mind you, most of these clients are middle-aged and often parents themselves, and reside in states, countries or even continents that are far away from their aging parents. Yet many of them are still “battling” with their parents over who is in charge of them. I tell…

Read More On Parents, Power and Vulnerability

Always staying slightly below weight—who cares? I am a pediatric eating disorder doctor and try my best to see people only until age 21. Why is this hard? Because I have a great treatment team and good treatment is hard to come by, so we sometimes run into deserving and desperate adult patients, whom we simply must refer to adult providers. I say this so that the readers of this blog may put my recommendations…

Read More If you don’t eat, you can’t think

Clients often complain that their partners tout how smart they are and insist that their high intellect makes them right more often than wrong. While some folks might be cowed by intellectual heights, the truth is that people who use it to dominate others are actually low on emotional intelligence, however dazzling their brainpower might be. Daniel Goleman, author of one of my favorite books, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, defines…

Read More Intellectual versus Emotional and Social Intelligence

Do you often eat food that isn’t good for you and that you’re not hungry for because you insist, “Well, why shouldn’t I eat it? I deserve it.” Truth is, when you feel truly deserving of good things, you don’t think this way. Yes, you do deserve to eat yummy foods, but with entitled eating, yumminess lasts until you guiltily swallow the last bite or feel sick to your stomach. Hello, you’re not eating for…

Read More What Do You Think You Deserve?

As someone who leads groups on mindful eating, I welcome any opportunity to give a shout out to my favorite mindful eating book, Mindful Eating, by pediatrician and Buddhist abbess Jan Chozen Bays.  Her book is beautifully written, clearly organized and concise, and many of my clients who are emotional eaters or have other kinds of mindfuless eating patterns have found it tremendously helpful. Two warnings up front:  the book is written for overeaters of various kinds,…

Read More Mindful Eating, by Jan Chozen Bays

Whatever you tell other people about yourself, they will be believe you. So will you. So will Ed. If you tell others you are a victim, if you tell yourself you are a victim, if you tell Ed you are a victim, you will be believed. But if you tell others, yourself, and Ed that you are strong, powerful, wise, a fighter, and a HERO, you will be believed. What reputation will you awaken with…

Read More Choosing Your Own Reputation

I’ve long said that this culture, and especially disregulated eaters, need more intentional mindlessness in their lives along with, of course, more mindfulness. Of course, it’s not something one could campaign about the way there’s a movement for mindfulness, but the value of mindlessness should not be underestimated. Maybe it’s simply a question of being mindful enough to know when you want to be mindless. When you’re really tuned into yourself, that would sound like…

Read More The Value of Mindlessness

We talk about “comfort foods” all the time. Most of us like ‘em creamy, full of fat, and sweet to beat the band. Although our choice of comfort foods vary, we all have some image in mind when we think of them. And we all base eating them for comfort on the assumption that they, and only they, are the foods which will make us feel better. Not so, is the surprising conclusion of “The…

Read More Are Comfort Foods a Myth?