Thinking about and focusing on Ed is not the same as thinking about and focusing on your recovery. You may already know this – it sure sounds simple enough, doesn't it! But are you practicing what you know? Ed is very tricky. Ed has plenty of practice in getting us to think we are focusing on recovery, when in reality we are focusing on Ed. If you are unsure about whether you are focusing on…

Read More How Changing Your Focus Changes Everything

Whether or not you feel drawn towards mentoring in the specific form of matching a recovered person with a recovering person for extra support, the fact remains that the more support you have on your "Pro Recovery Team", the fewer folks there are to join "Team Ed". And when it comes to saving your own life, you want the All Stars on your team. You want the best of the best – and the most…

Read More Attracting the All Stars

Beating Ana Quote: I have the kind of relationship with myself that allows for me to explore any topic safely, completely, honestly, and courageously. I hold nothing back from myself—oh, no, not anymore. Ed often tells us that we can’t trust ourselves. It is one of his specialities. Unfortunately, we as often believe him, and we continue to trust Ed over our own selves. We listen to Ed before we pay attention to our intuition,…

Read More Getting to Know the Real You

When I first began my recovery journey, I felt so hopeless. I had NO IDEA that someday I would found the world's first mentoring organization. Thank goodness. I needed all of my energy for the hard fight ahead of me. I didn't need to focus at that point on helping others, although like most eating disordered folks, I had a kind heart which spoke of a natural desire to be of service. On MentorCONNECT, we…

Read More How are You Spending Your Time and Energy?

What we focus on we see more of. Over time, we may see only that and nothing else. If we are not happy living life as we are experiencing it, then we may either surround ourselves with other people who are unhappy, or we may decide to invite people who are happy with their lives into our lives to help us make changes. Here, the goal in inviting a life makeover expert (aka a mentor)…

Read More How a Mentor Can Help

Sometimes we think we can get by with half measures. And sometimes we think we have to earn a gold star on everything, all at once, and right away. At either extreme, what we will find is Ed. Patiently waiting. Ed is VERY patient. This is because he knows what the grand prize is – us – and he is quite willing to do whatever it takes to win our life for himself. Are we?…

Read More What “Doing What It Takes” Really Means

You can simplify things. How can you know this? Because if you weren't capable of breaking the complex down into small, simple, manageable steps, you would never have learned how to walk, to speak, to make your bed. Each of these tasks, while terribly complex in their entirety, is made up entirely of small, simple, manageable steps. In fact, studying how to do complex tasks you already know how to do is a great way…

Read More The Essential Simplicity of Recovery

In all the years I was struggling to get away from Ed and take my life back, I never once met another person who had recovered from an eating disorder. What I would have given – or so I thought – in those days, to meet living proof that recovery really was possible! But the truth was that I didn't need proof. I knew it. I knew it like I knew that, if at any…

Read More Why Giving Up Hope Feels Terrible

We can have everything that recovery takes – all the support, all the tools, even the winning lottery ticket – but if we aren't aware of it, it avails us nothing. If we want to win the war against Ed, we need to know two things: 1) we are in a war, and 2) we can WIN it! If we have to, we must pretend we are Muhammad Ali, pumping ourselves full of praise and…

Read More When You Have Everything – Except Awareness

This is an exercise that takes a lot of courage. You may have become very invested in your self-hatred, the critical voice you think you "deserve", or a routine which is painful but at least predictable. You may also struggle with a deep sense of regret at the idea of becoming more kind to yourself now, after all those months or years of being so cruel. It takes guts to turn our own attitude around.…

Read More What Your Pet Can Teach You About Self-Care