There is not one single right time to add a mentor to your support team. A mentor is not a substitute or replacement for professional treatment. But a mentor can offer a perspective on eating disorders and recovery that is valuable and unique, and in this way can provide much needed encouragement and support. Some of you may never want or need to add a mentor to your support team, maybe because someone on your…

Read More Identifying Your Mentors

When I first started my personal journey to recovery, every day was a life-or-death, dog-eat-dog battle against the mean, angry, controlling force that had seemingly taken over my body, mind, heart, and spirit (aka Ed). I had little time or energy to entertain thoughts of someday becoming a person who might ever be capable of having anything to give to others. Today my story has changed, and because of all of the energy and time…

Read More Why Recovery Takes the Time it Takes

While Ed will often try to browbeat you into following his lead instead of recovery, and will throw all kinds of “evidence” at you that recovery is just not in the cards for you, these are exactly the kind of tired tactics that cease to hold any power over you the moment you realize that tactics is all they are. Ed is a bully. Bullies are only weakly strong. Honest people – people like YOU…

Read More You are Already Learning What You Need to Learn

My own mentor has often reminded that when I set a new intention to cultivate a new practice or mindset, what happens next is that everything that is unlike my new goal gets rooted out. And before it goes, I have to endure the unpleasantness of seeing it all parading before me on its way out the door. So, for instance, if I set a goal to practice humility, what I first have to experience…

Read More Letting What You Don’t Need Go

This is my wish for each of you, yes. But what is YOUR wish for you? More important than what your parents want for you, what your significant other wants for you, what your treatment team wants for you, what your best friend wants for you, is what you want for you. What you want – what you truly, deeply and fully want – will drive what you let in. The more you can hone…

Read More What You Want Determines What You Let In

Please understand – when I say "together, we…" I am not talking about you and Ed. I am talking about you and YOU. While it is of course extremely important that you have supportive others on your recovery team (including professionals and loved ones), and you deserve support from others, all the support in the world will not help you make one iota of recovery progress if you are against yourself. You have to learn…

Read More Empowering “Team You”

The connection we offer the most time and attention to is the one that will be the strongest. I will say that again. The connection we offer the most time and attention is the one that will be the strongest. If we give most of our day, our mind, our body and our habits to Ed, then guess which connection we are strengthening? If, however, we keep ourselves continually occupied in recovery-focused activities, whether it…

Read More The Connection We Choose Will be the Strongest

What we don't notice might as well not be real. If we want to hang on to our recovery story – our RECOVERY story – we must REMEMBER. We simply must remember. Ed will continually be filling your head with other stories – stories that Ed assures you is true, stories that make you out to be small, powerless, and stuck doing Ed's bidding forever. If you don't like that story, then keep telling the…

Read More Who is the Star of Your Story?

Whether you see it or believe it or not on a daily basis, just the fact that you are paying attention to the recovery stories of others and dreaming of one day telling your own speaks volumes about the good company you are keeping. Every person who is a part of the recovery community, every recovering and recovered person who shares time and wisdom with those new to recovery and those who have been in…

Read More Cultivating Good Company (and Why This Doesn’t Include Ed)

There is not one single right time to add a mentor to your support team. A mentor is not a substitute or replacement for professional treatment. But a mentor can offer a perspective on eating disorders and recovery that is valuable and unique, and in this way can provide much needed encouragement and support. Some of you may never want or need to add a mentor to your support team, maybe because someone on your…

Read More How to Know You Are Ready for a Mentor